I find myself in a familiar bind
Long to be together but know I’m left behind
Over the years this isn’t unfamiliar to me
Very likely the only way I’ll ever be
Even if I change to be more compatible
You probably change just to stay combatable
Owed nothing but wanting so much
Unable to go on without someone as a crutch
Believe me, I’d move on without this pain
Until I think of you and have you on my brain
Tomorrow I’ll hope you’ll be mine
Yesterday I lie and say I’m fine
Of all the things on Earth, I’d pick you
Unfortunately, I know that will never be true
Can’t shake the sense of being inadequate
Only left feeling like a lonely advocate
Umbrella of doubt follows me like a dog
Locked in this self-deprecating monologue
Didn’t want to be someone who hid and cried
Never would live it down if I hadn’t tried
Every attempt of mine will all be for nothing
Voices in my head tell me they’re just bluffing
Early in this race to decide a winner
Really shouldn’t have bet on the beginner
Late for class despite putting in the work
On time to show up and be called a jerk
Victorious only when I declare defeat
Ejected from your hand like a crumpled receipt
Maybe one day I’ll prove you and I wrong
Eventually when I convince myself that I belong