Hold On / Let Go

Want anything else to be on my mind

Need to get things done, I’m way behind

But I’m stuck on you and all this dread

This blanket I’ve wove started from one thread

You will never come back, that I am sure

But the love I felt was not just real but pure

You seemed to be all that I ever wanted

Now my head is filled with you, totally haunted

Can’t stand that I’ll never get some closure

Feel like a negative that’ll never feel exposure

And it’s all on me, it’s always my fault

I always lock up how I feel inside my vault

Because I can’t be loved, it can never be

I can never be enough to matter to me

But it isn’t my fault, I wasn’t always this way

I took too serious what the others would say

That I was ugly, fat, gross, never loved

Kicked dirt on me and into it I’m shoved

Said I don’t deserve it, said I don’t matter

I was like a window, I surely did shatter

I’m broken but I wasn’t always like that

I was in the line of fire and I cowered and sat

I didn’t know how to get out of dodge

Hunkered down in my best camouflage

To avoid any rebound, any revenge

Made a pity hideout, my own Stonehenge

And it’s here I’ll stay, I can’t ever leave

Unless I break off this base, start to upheave

That way I can move on, truly become happy

Free of who I never loved, free of being sappy

I can be true to myself and live a good life

Gone are the nights of sobbing and strife

One day I’ll do it and I can be myself, true

But the saddest part, I’ll be leaving behind you