Settling In

A week ago it just seemed like fun

A little old trip, a one-and-done

But today it feels so much realer

Taking every bump like an old 4-wheeler

In some ways I love this life

I’m free of my old guilt and strife

But then there’s moments I can’t stand it

Want to throw it all away and disband it

Then there’s those moments things feel okay

Like I’m finally someone who has a say

I prove to myself that I was raised right

That I’m not dumb, I might even be bright

Yet these moments feel like in a vacuum

Everything empty, like a pillaged tomb

I’m in my own world making things happen

So worn out but have to keep my wings flappin'

I'm the only safety, nothing holding me back

Have to mange myself, keep me on track

What used to bore has become nostalgic

What I thought hurt me became antalgic

One of the things I still seem to lack

Is a dream that doesn’t come out as black

Another irk is when I stare at the night sky

But I see nothing there, nothing to ask why

I go so far away to see something new

But feel abandoned by infinity, leaving me blue

It certainly isn’t all bad, feel much more whole

But I notice my life has quite a bit less soul

When I take everything familiar away

Am I just as common as any other day

I hope I find myself a place to fit in

So I can make the most of things, let my story begin